I can think of nothing more detrimental to your real estate investing and even your life than becoming a victim. A victim of what? A victim of anything that holds you back.
I realize that it may sound like I am speaking in riddles so let me explain. When you are a victim, you give up all control and you can no longer affect the outcome.
When you accept being a victim, you hand over control of the situation – of yourself – to whatever you perceive is the cause. For instance, if you are not making money because the economy is too slow, then there is nothing you can do when the economy is slow.
If you can’t find deals because the market is hot, then you have no control in hot markets. Or when there is too much competition. Or when newbies are inflating prices. Or when there are unethical investors. Or when anything else occurs to which you become a victim.
All of these things are just what is going on. You decide how you are going to react to them. If you are a victim, then you shed any responsibility for your results (which feels good); but you also have no control to improve your results. If you do not allow yourself to become a victim, you are able to see other possibilities and look for alternative strategies that will yield that results you want.
When you are a victim you complain about circumstances and wish that they were different. You tell yourself that if only things were different, you would reach your desired results. Unfortunately they are not different, so there is nothing you can do except continue to be a victim of the circumstance.
When you shed the victim mentality, you take responsibility for yourself and for your results. The circumstances are what they are – they are neither good nor bad. It is up to you to decide how to thrive within your current situation.
Let’s suppose that you are working a job that pays little despite the inordinate amount of hours you need to put in. A victim tells themselves that if they only had more time and more money, then they’d be able to start their real estate business on the side.
When you are not a victim, you think about alternatives. Could I find a house using a wholesaler? Could I partner up with someone? Could I manage a rehab by using a General Contractor so I don’t have to be there much? I don’t earn that much, so even one rehab may be enough to replace 9 months’ salary received with a pay stubs template. I could take that money and then quit my job and do another rehab or two to give me some seed money for my business.
Victims have no responsibility and no control so they never look to overcome obstacles. Victims tend to associate with other victims to commiserate about their problems. This serves to strengthen the victim attitude. Empowered people walk away from victim conversations and want no part of that dialog. Instead they opt to associate with bold, empowered people who can share new ideas to forge new roads to meet desired goals. Empowered people are not shackled by their past, but rather strengthened by the obstacles they have overcome. Victims look to the past to justify their present and see the future as an extension of the past. Those that are empowered and take control learn from the past, live a different present, and envision an even brighter future with no limits.
My point is that as long as you allow yourself to be a victim of your circumstances, you will never look for a different way because you’ll feel it is out of your control. Empower yourself. Don’t be a victim. Know that you already have within you whatever it is you need to reach all of your dreams and desires. The only thing holding you back is that you tell yourself you have no control. Take control. Shed the victim. Live the life of your dreams.
Expect abundance,
Lou Castillo
